Before we are born again, we all are narcissists, living in a dream world of our own imagination, a distorted vision of our persona and of our pre-conceived self-worth. We pretend to care for others but WE are at the center of our own little world and everyone else revolves around us like the planets revolve around the sun.
We have to have Jesus at our center. THt is when we become blessed. To do that, our self image must be broken. We have to be brought down low. So “blessed are the poor in spirit.” Repentance and godly sorrow does this. We become blessed when we become Christ centered instead of self centered. once Christ becomes our righteousness through the power of His sacrifice and His resurrection then we are filled. That comes from hungering and thirsting for righteousness.
Most religious narcissists have never experienced true repentance. Why? Because they have never really understood themselves as sinners, unlike most people who are already convinced in their minds that they are sinners. The reason in their minds plays out like this: “well, yeah, I have sinned, but so has the next guy and when I look around at others, my sins are nothing compared to his, so I believe I’m going to heaven because I am not that bad.”
On the other hand, godly sorrow is a deeply emotional experience where the sinner is brought face to face with his own inner darkness. It is the dark time of the soul. It is no longer a comparison to the “next guy.” It becomes “it’s me Lord—and compared to You, I am a wretched being, a poor excuse of humanity. My heart cries out to You to save me.”
Furthermore, religious narcissists are always looking to DO something about their sinful nature. To “dress up” their sin with prayer, fasting, confessions and the like is a part of the works thing. They have been taught that repentance that leads to salvation is turning away from sin, a change of mind.
This may be the case AFTER we are saved, but not BEFORE.
The dark time of the soul is when the Holy Ghost confronts us with our inborn evil that we can do nothing about other than grab on for dear life to the One who became sin so that we can become the righteousness of God in Him.
It is a time of the cross.
To be born again, We must see our darkness from God’s perspective before we can appreciate how Jesus has translated us out of darkness into light.
After 41 years, I can remember very vividly how I myself experienced the dark time of my own soul. I was a confident, highminded person who thought very well of herself. After all, I had obtained a masters degree four years before, doubling my salary as a result. I had great ego strength when the Lord showed me my personal darkness. The poorness of spirit that I felt was indescribable. However, it led to a godly sorrow of repentance that brought forth the fruit of a rebirth that was equally indescribable as the Holy Ghost entered my spirit and I was marvelously saved.
If those of you who are waiting on God ever experience the dark time of your soul for too long, then just know that it was not God. Such a time is something that happens quickly, and it turns from you to the cross. You get a sense of what The Lord did on the cross FOR YOU!!!
What follows it is a washing, cleansing, forgiveness, joy—a freedom that is beyond description. And you will never experience it like that again. You may struggle over sin after you are saved, simply because you want to do what you KNOW is not of God, and you may weep. This is what is called CONVICTION. Yet as soon as you confess your sin to Him and determine to be righteous, the conviction immediately leaves.
So be warned that if you stay stuck in grief over your sin and can’t seem to break free, then it is a religious demon and you have to fight it off of you. if you are unsaved, call me. if you are saved, then put on your breastplate of righteousness.”You too can call me. 888-818-1117