It seems that I had more sense when I was in my early 20’s —an unsaved worldly young woman, than I did when I was saved and in my early 30’s. Some might have called me “a 20 year old un-virtuous woman” because I demanded back then that no man could sleep with me unless he paid me. Certainly a sinful, worldly perspective, STILL—no man took me down. Nor would I spend a dime on a man, not even a birthday card. Men made it plain to me that all they wanted from me was my body. So I said to myself, “if THAT is how it is, then to have this body, Mr. Man, you have to pay to play. I will NOT let you break my heart and so my heart is cold toward you.” Whenever I hear my man Maxwell sing,“How Can You Be So Cold, Good God the Gurl’s Gone Cold. You just can’t leave this. You can’t quit this. The gurl means business, I shake my head in remembrance of that girl who died when Jesus came a callin! lol
WOW! I got glorious saved on March 29, 1977. I was 33 years old. I walked in the power of love, forgiveness, understanding for all people. My cynicism was replaced with an “I’m going to save the world” mentality and I’m going to keep myself chaste and become someone’s virtuous wife and I reach down to pull up the weak and needy. Yet, without proper understanding, I allowed myself to become more than one man’s doormat. So when the enemy sent losers into my life, I welcomed them ALL.
Here is a bit of wisdom from a senior citizen who has been there and done that. The worst thing you can do is to fall for a man who has “potential.”
You make more money than he does. You are more educated than he is. You have a job but he is “finding himself” because society has so emasculated him. You pay your bills, have your own place to live, and you are paying to drive your own car. You may even be a single mom who is taking responsible care of your children by yourself.
Look out, Gurl! If he hasn’t already, Satan plans to send Mr. Potential to try to discover if you are a potential sucker. Mr. Potential is the kind of guy that will start out draining you slowly. The next thing you know, you are loaning him your car so that he can find a job. Then you find some earrings in the glove compartment that are not YOURS! You have already been suckered.
If you are still playing the dating game, here is a rule of thumb. Never date a man who is merely “upwardly mobile” but needs a helping hand to arrive at your social standing and way of life. No, Baby Gurl! He has got to have exactly what YOU have, better yet—he should have a better ride, a better crib, and more money in the bank than you have. Why? Because built into a man is a competitive spirit. While he may use YOUR goods and services, deep down, he will harbor envy and jealousy over the fact that you have more to offer than he does and he will be hell bent to one day, get even, and drag your nose through the mud because your success irritated him.
So you need a man who is slightly superior to YOU! Otherwise, Mr. Potential will drag you to the poor house and the soup kitchen.
Take it from someone who married not one but three Mr. Potentials each of whom turned out to be losers. Two of them are now dead and one of them pretends to be dead because he knows that to mess with me in this hour is to bring the wrath of God upon himself. The fear of the Lord is upon my third and last husband. That is a good thing. Richard learned a thing or two trying to bring me down during the 9 years I was married to HIM! Sister, if you are married to a loser, then you will find yourself risking what God blessed you to accumulate for yourself.
Here is a memorable example for you to consider.
I went into prison and married my second husband, Billy. We were married for 8 years. I spent about 8000 a year as a prison wife, travelling hundreds of miles on dangerous roads every week, for 7 of those years. Buying him everything from sneakers to food to expensive typewriters. Add it up. That would be about $64,000 spent on a man who put a witchcraft spell upon me in an attempt to kill me by causing me to have a car accident!!!! (that’s yet another post! lol)
I even risked my job marrying Billy because I worked in the field of corrections and my peers felt that I disrespected them by marrying a convict. So beside the pressures of being a prison wife, I had to constantly look over my shoulder to see which of my peers was trying to frame me to lose a job I ended up keeping for 17 years, until I walked out myself in 1997. While my second ex was incarcerated, I paid $1500 a correspondence course for Billy to become a paralegal. Mr. Potential was an A student. So Billy contested the divorce and tried to take half of my resources–my house, my car and my pension that I live quite well off of right now. The judge asked him, “How much did you contribute to your wife’s resources.” He responded “Nothing.” The judge answered: “And NOTHING is what you shall receive!.”
You may not be so lucky. It was very obvious to the judge that a man who is incarcerated the entire marriage has not even bought salt for the shaker. So if you marry “Mr. Potential,” and he co-habitates with you for a while, you may one day find yourself paying HIM alimony.
Let a word to the wise be sufficient.
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