MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH TONGUES

When posting on facebook on this hot topic, the responses were clearly impulsive, sudden reactions that took aback and even outraged  those who speak in tongues. It was as if the commentators did not even give themselves time to think and meditate on my post before responding. I was shocked. Readers actually sat down in the early morning hours —took time away from their busy schedules to post quite a few rather lengthy rebuttals about this subject.

 Tongues is certainly a volatile issue, to put it mildly. It seems that I may have “touched on something” here.  So I ask you, “why are the demons so upset, simply because I am obeying the spirit by “trying everything spiritual, including “tongues”?”  I have personally confronted the religious demon on several occasions. I have even cast out various demons with much success. I have written a 356 page book about the religious demon, so my work and agenda is not new to the enemy. In fact, it has been proven to me that demons can recall every sentence on each page of all 4 of my books–a feat that is impossible even for me, the author of them. I have to search the table of contents to find what I am looking for.

 Perhaps I did not get attacked for writing Faces of the Religious Demon, because tongues, though mentioned, is not the primary emphasis of the book. As I reviewed several commentaries, it appears that when I indicated that I had reservations about tongues for two decades, perhaps I did not make myself clear. You need to know that I did not originally question the tongues that others spoke, but only my own “tongue.” Nor did I mean that I originally believed that tongues was from the devil.

In truth, I have loved to speak in tongues. It certainly does sooth my flesh. In that regard, speaking in tongues is self edifying and self gratifying. I am a conversationalist—a preacher and a teacher of the word of God as well— so I tend to be articulate.. Even so, in tongues, I can utter non-stop for hours. You need to be aware that chanting, transcendental meditation and yoga have the same pleasant and even ecstatic affects upon the flesh.

Laboratory research has proven that tongues and other forms of mental passivity give the frontal lobe of the brain a real rest. This is because the mind is literally unfruitful when tongues is uttered, even more unfruitful then the state of sleep. Our minds work pretty well during sleep, as evidenced by the quality of our dream life. However, when I speak in tongues, all thinking actually stops until I cease from speaking. Even if I were to try to babble out something, my mind would be thinking of the next babbling sound to utter.

However, not so with tongues. All thought comes to an end as the utterances roll off of the tongue like water. Not at all concerned until recently about the legitimacy of the overall tongues movement in our time, my original concern was totally personal. Simply put, I questioned whether or not I myself had received tongues in the correct spiritual manner.

To explain further, I wondered why tongues did not “come upon me” as I witnessed the speaking in tongues of others and along the same lines, I wondered why I seemed to have so much control over my own utterances. I spoke tongues regularly, but in my own personal life, I never attributed my spiritual growth to it. Actually, I personally found affects upon my flesh. Rather, correction and chastizement of fires of refinement as opposed no spiritual benefit to it other than its soothing I have grown in Christ by submitting myself to the the Holy Ghost, groomed and strengthened in the to uttering by the fires of a prayer language.

A particular incident is noteworthy. The year was 1985. I was travelling on anarrow, country road in upstate New York on a very cold, bright and sunny winter morning. Since it was bitter cold, I had the heat blasting— but on top of that, the sun was shining directly on me through the car windows, in all of its brightness. I was very warm but not sweating. Then there was the sound of the tires on the road that made a repetitive sound every few seconds–kerplunk,kerplunk, kerplunk.

As a former student and practitioner of relaxation therapy, aka hynosis, the imagination and visualization of heat accompanied by a the monotonous tone of the hypnotist’s voice are frequently used as mesmerizing tools to “put a person under.” In short, I became hynotized by the heat and drive. While in an hynotic trance, I heard which continued to repeat, “follow that car, could also feel a push forward, as though an take action. the tire sounds as I continued to in the spirit a very audible voice follow that car, follow that car.” An  invisible being was compelling me to cross the solid line and kill myself while I was in an altered state of consciousness—simply put–a trance.

A car pulled out from behind me in order to pass me in the oncoming traffic lane to my left. As it passed me, a voice urged me to “follow that car”, I was about to obey that voice when my hands gripped so tight on the steering wheel that I couldn’t move them if I wanted to. My hands actually froze—locked tightly so that all I could do was drive straight ahead. My eyes were opened the entire time and I saw it all, yet I was hypnotized.

 Suddenly, as I awoke out of the trance, a huge truck whizzed right by me in the opposite lane. I realized then, that if I had followed the car, I would not have been alive today to write about this. I would have crashed head on into that truck. There were about 5 cars behind the truck as well. Others would have certainly died that day. When I got home, I spoke to a close “significant other” who rather casually remarked, “as I was sitting at my desk today, I saw a vision of you. You were riding in a car and the sun was shining very brightly on you. I didn’t know what was going on so I just “prayed in tongues.”

 For 20 years, this incident was my main proof that tongues was a “prayer language.” I found a supportive scripture taken “out of context” in Romans 8:26 as my so called “confirmation”, namely, that we know not what to pray for as we ought and that the Holy Ghost prays the perfect will of God for us. Yet I ignored the rest of that scripture, namely, that the Holy Ghost does this with groanings, and not with tongues. The scripture clearly states that the groanings “ARE NOT UTTERED.” Speaking in tongues is AN UTTERANCE, so I believe we are in error when we stretch Romans 8:26 in order to confirm that tongues is a “prayer language.”.

 So that you know, the enemy is famous in the use of what Christians call “confirmation,”—a subject of a future newsletter issue. Within my own congregation, I witnessed how tongues spontaneously came upon others and how “ecstatic” the experience was for them. In my case, it was neither spontaneous nor ecstatic, and I wondered if “it should be.” On the contrary, when I spoke in tongues, it was rather “conversational,and “though it felt good, I rarely became ecstatic or emotional. I also noted that among the tonguetalkers within the congregation that I pastored, I could find no fruits of the spirit. In fact, some church members were seriously demonized, others suffered from mental illness. In short, every Christian drug addict among us were prolific in the speaking in tongues.

 I perceived a problem with that.

Since I began to take a serious look at tongues in 2007, I decided to temporarily stop speaking in tongues until I was assured. Strangely enough, since I  restrained myself from speaking in it, there are moments when I literally have to strengthen my will power against blurting out tongues at isolated times each day. On occasion, I can feel it in me, and I have a slightly complusive and impulsive desire to literally “cut loose” with it.

This “phenomena” has not occurred since I first spoke in tongues in 1983, as I always uttered by the desire of my own will. Actually I am normally rather neutral about it. Now that I have both questioned it and temporarily refused to utter, I have a strong urge to speak in tongues. This is NOT a comfortable feeling. I can hear you tongue talkers now, screaming at me through the airways, “you are grieving and quenching the Holy Ghost, Pam. Give in to your compulsion and “let it roll!!!” Well,  I vowed that until I know without a shadow of a doubt that the tongues that I speak is of God, I will not speak in tongues. Four years have passed.  The compulsion pressures me less and less but it is still there.  I do not yield to it.

  Another problem that caused me to “raise my eyebrow” is that the majority of people in my church and those I met from other churches who spoke in tongues bore no spiritual fruit of holiness. I relate to the words of James where he questioned, “how can bitter and sweet waters come out of the same cistern?” For example, in my own congregation as well as those known to me as members of word of faith and pentecostal churches, I simply could not understand how people who were obviously hypocritical, legalistic and even mean spirited could be so prolific in a language inspired by “the Holy Ghost.” Isn’t the Holy Ghost grieved and quenched by sin?

Good question. Then too, if a person does not walk in love, Paul explains that tongues are useless. (1Corin 13)Singling out no person other than myself, as a single Christian woman, fornication remained a stronghold for me as a babe in Christ. Like the Corinthians, I also ignorantly carried over practices from “the dumb idols” of occulticism for quite a few years, so when Paul warned the Corinthians to flee fornication, he spoke to me also. Yet, even at the weakest and most compromised stage of my own spiritual walk, I consistently remained fluent in tongues.

Here’s another example. I could not understand how I could speak in tongues on one hand, and occasionally come out of my mouth with the 4 letter words, on the other hand. For thirty years saved, it has been quite an effort to restrain myself from cursing, primarily because culturally, some of the “4 letters” were a part of my everyday colloquial speech. “The restraint” has not always been successful. Yet, it was possible for me to curse one minute and speak in tongues the next. Perhaps you tongue talkers can’t relate cause every word that has come out of your mouth since YOU spoke in tongues has been righteous, holy and above reproach. Well, I have no one to please but God. Therefore, I don’t fear being judged by you. If I lie to you, then the love of God is not in me.

As I matured in Christ over 3 decades, I have had no problems with holding back cuss words around strangers, smug and pious Christians or professional or ministerial colleagues, but I can recall that when I socialize with my people–non-judgmental friends—- there are times when we intimately “kick it” back and forth— not in anger, but as a comfortable practice within our colloquial language style. Just last evening, a neighbor unknown to me from my own race and culture began to share some concerns about the neighborhood. She knows absolutely nothing about me as this was our first conversation. Her brief,friendly chatter was filled with 4 letter words, in a matter of fact kind of way. As I listened, I myself did not curse, nor did I make her uncomfortable by not communicating in her normal style. Simply put, I have matured both naturally and spiritually to a point where I can speak without cursing. Yet in the early days of my spiritual walk , I cursed more than “occasionally” AND I also spoke in tongues. Today I wonder, “how can those who normally curse in their native tongue, speak with a holy language, any time they choose?”

Another good question. So, until recently, I never suspected that tongues could be “of the devil.” Even so, I would not be the first to share such a supposition. Tongue talkers have been accused of “having a demon” by countless professing Christians and nonChristians. So what is going on “today?” In terms of “what is going on in my life today, this week, I cast out 8 Hindu deities from one former yoga practitioner who is a Christian: Shiva, Hakini, Savashiva, Isha, Vahni, Vishnu, Rakini and Brahma in the name and by the authority of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Practically each of these demons came out ranting at me using its captive to speak in tongues—a very similar sound to the tongues that I have heard uttered among those who profess to be speaking “a prayer language.”

 Suppose there is a true tongue spoken and interpreted today and I am simply one of millions who  received tongues in the wrong way.  I have had a lot in common with the Corinthians for I too worshipped at the altar of pagan gods, aka demons. Since the Corinthians were saved, Paul did not suggest that demons be cast out of them but only that they “interpret.” If no interpretation, then no speaking. This is simple. I don’t expect that I have to cast demons from myself, even if the tongue I speak is not from God. Paul suggests that the person who speaks in tongues should also seek to interpret. I sought to interpret for 25 years and I still cannot interpret. Therefore,  I heed Paul’s counsel and I simply will not speak in tongues without an interpreter.

 One way or another, I DO strive for perfection. To obtain it, I MUST TRY THE SPIRITS. To try the spirits is to question and examine every supernatural experience, regardless of whose feelings I may offend. I truly hope that the manifestation of tongues today is not a counterfeit. If so, I will relax, open my mouth once again and “let it rip.” But, from what I learned from my observations of history, “the fruit hasn’t fallen far from the tree!!!”