I am here to blow the trumpet in Zion. To sound an alarm that only the elect shall here and heed. The Lord sounds the alarm in the endtimes saying, “Come out of her (Mystery Babylon) my people, lest ye receive of her plagues.” To some, Mystery Babylon is a nation. This is partially true, yet I believe that Mystery Babylon consists not only of a nation but also of the organized church in its apostate, blasphemous condition. I also suspect that there are only two ways “to come out of her.” To be PUT OUT or to be called out by God. In my case, both options applied. Jesus Himself forwarned the elect of God that they would be “put out of their synagogues.” (John 16:2) Most assuredly Jesus prepared His disciples to endure persecution while they established His church after His Ascencion. History confirms the fulfillment of the Lord’s prediction, for free thinkers have been “put out of the church” in every century.
However, could the Lord’s words be a prophetic sign, not only to the beginning of the church age but also at the end of it?If the church age is about to ebb, could it also be that dedicated churchgoers of our time will also be called out and perhaps even “put out” of their local assemblies and denominations? In pursuit of a reflexion upon endtime signs, the purpose of this article is twofold: first-to prepare and to calm the hearts of those who may be driven out oftheir local churches and assemblies and second–to begin to explore the Lord’s “the new thing” which I believe the bible refers to as “the latter rain.”
It is my contention that the latter rain is a final outpouring of the Holy Ghost on all flesh, a move of God that I suspect will occur,for the most part, outside of the organized church as we know it today, using as its foundation those who have been “put out” of our present day “synagogue”, the organized church. IN the mid 80’s , I was watching television and I saw a news clip of a huge line that stretched around the corner from a NYC theater where Madonna was appearing. I paid particular attention to this news flash, primarily because people had brought folding cots to sleep on for days, so that they could be first in line. I remember thinking, “they should be lining up like that for Jesus Christ.” That same night, I dreamed about a similar line. The line began at a theatre in my own community, stretched down the highway to the NYS Thruway to the Selkirk exit which is a 12 mile long line.
Flying over the line and looking down at it, the Holy Ghost and I had the following conversation. He said “Pam,do you see that line down below? You are going to minister to every person you see standing on that line.” In my mind, this was inconceivable. I asked Him “where and how.” Then He flew me in an eastward direction, pointing down to a little complex, declaring “from there.” I asked, “how am I going to fit all of those people in that little house?” He didn’t answer and I woke up. Several years later,I was sitting at my computer, and the Holy Ghost reminded me of that dream. I was stunned. He interpreted the dream Himself.
“Remember that line of 12 miles in length? Remember you asked me how you were going to fit all of those people in your house? Remember that when you dreamed this, you were living west of the highway and not east of it? Well Pam, today you are living east of the highway, and today you are ministering to hundreds each day from your website while you”chat” and send emails from your computer, eat your dinner and even while you are sleeping in your bed. As in that dream, those you minister to 24 and 7 are ‘on line.'”
Even though computers had been around for years, I was unaware of them when I had that dream in the 80’s. They were not even using computers at my secular job in those days. Even after I had my own personal PC both at work and at home, it took a minute for me to get into the computer lingo,ie. “going on line”, “download” or “surfing the world wide web.” So as I sat at my computer screen about 5 years ago, the Holy Ghost interpreted my dream for me, letting me know that with a computer, (with 12 being the number of fulfillment and completion), a 12 mile long highway of people is a drop in the bucket when you are tallking about “the world!!!”. So when I was confidentially apprised that the reginal director was planning to come against my website , I knew that the time had come for my departure. In short, the religious demon used the first woman ever to gain power within the denomination in our region in 150 years to sabotage my website. Rose( not her real name) covertly warned the Bishop, suggesting that my website should be investigated.
Due to the dream of the 12 mile line and the very recent interpretation of it, I realized just how crucial the website was to my ministry, a thing not to be tampered with by anyone. Wow!. It was really time to go.Once a close friend, prayer partner and confidante, Rose instigated this “move to put me out of the synagogue”, assuming that she could hide her involvement under anonymity, ie. that some unknown person on the world wide web had complained to the Bishop. As such, Rose continued to grin in my face, pretending that she had nothing at all to do with actually initiating the investigation herself.
As is the case with women new to organized church politics, another woman minister that Rose confided in did not keep her secret. The second woman revealed the secret plans to a male minister who behaved “like a friend to me”. The long and the short of it is that “I found out.” Consequently, one whole year before I left the church, I knew well in advance most of the details concerning the denomination’s “so called” investigation. So about a month after a colleague “pulled my coat” to what was about to transpire, the Bishop formed an investigative committee and conveniently appointed Rose as the chairperson. A few secret meetings were held where Rose handed the committee her investigation report a year later. Those on the committee were also supposed to be “my friendly associates.”
However, they passively accepted Rose’s report and kept her secret. Committee members did not really understand what was going on and they also did not care. Even though they did not relish being a part of a secret plan to destroy another colleague’s ministry, “they went along with it all” to protect themselves. Religious politics can be as cut-throat as its secular counterpart. The “investigation” did not target deliverance counseling, the prayer line or other links. The denomination’s major anxiety was my role as a watchman on the web. The leadership knew that they could not handle yet another lawsuit.
What if one of the “mega preachers” took the denomination to court over something I might published about him or her on the website? The “megas” have loads of dollars to employ teams of lawyers for years on end. As is often the case in religious proceedings, the committee did not do its homework. Due to the fame and fortune of public figures, tv evangelists are legally subject to public scrutiny, with practically no holes barred on the internet. In fact, people without integrity are making some of the most foul, outrageous, slanderous comments about mega preachers on the web, with absolutely no fear of legal reprisals. In truth, the website investigation was merely a smokescreen for the Bishop to finally “PUT OUT” a minister that he considered to be one of the denomination’s bad pennies. Outside of the bishop,everyone else involved had their own motives that evolved around fear, envy, competitiveness and ambition.
In spite of evil motives of the flesh, this entire fiasco was a good experience for my own spiritual development. It was an experience that the Lord used to refine me within the fire. So if you are either “put out” or “driven out,” just know that the Lord will not leave you or forsake you. In fact, He is really behind the whole thing, as He warns in Rev. Ch: 18, “Come out of her, My people.” I don’t usually share about this incident because it provides ammunition for detractors. Those who seek to “skirt the truth” through excuses and denial, invariably accuse me of being “bitter” and vindictive. Professing Christians who refuse to even consider a view that may challenge their own, are always looking for any rationalization that can assist them to remain blind.
Even so, I share this testimony today because I believe that it will help those of you who will eventually be “put out of your church.” When you are, my hope is that when you are accused, you will not feel abused and react emotionally. Simply “watch, wait and pray.” Wait I say on the Lord, and He will direct your path.” Controversial, public ministry has its challenges. I have simply come to terms with the inevitablity that people are going to believe what they choose to believe as they minimize the truth and desensitized themselves to “what’s goin on”.
Just know this. My entire ministerial life, I was only a member and a minister in one denomination. I have no need to reveal it because “who they are” is not important. Only a microcosm, they remain bit players in the unfolding drama of the entire organized church. Forgiveness was not difficult for me in this instance and without any effort I was able to sincerely declare,”Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” Forgiveness also necessitates that we “own up” and take responsibility for our own mistakes. In my particular case, I understand why the Bishop desired for a long time to “put me out of the synagogue!”
In his mind, I was bringing charismatic practices into the denomination that he loves—- whose traditions he is dedicated to protect. Yet, he neither protested nor did he take a stand when his own wife began to recommend a book to the entire denomination,— a book authored by a well known charismatic whose character has recently been publicly exposed. Email commentaries that I receive from you the reader frequently mention “my transparency.”
Here’s the deal. I can share as I do primarily because I have no one to fear except God Himself. In other words, no one can hurt me by my self disclosure. I will never run for political office. I seek nothing from you. I do not seek your tithes and offerings. Nor am I seeking a following to join me in ministry. If you buy a book that sells for $25, the ministry gains $2. With little to gain and nothing to lose, I can be an open book without the anticipation of reprisals from anyone. Therefore, I lose no sleep over being “transparent.” My primary goal is that each reader gleans and benefits from the rough road that I have travelled as a born again believer in Christ Jesus for 31 years.
Hopefully, my self disclosure will alert you to avoid some of the pitfalls. I consider my job to be easy primarily because I don’t take more upon myself then I am called to do. In fact, I sleep 10 hours a day. All that is required of me is to remain on the web and the Holy Ghost does the rest.The Lord’s yoke is truly easy and His burden is certainly light in my life today. I don’t even have to wrestle with demons face to face, as people are being delivered over the telephone, all around the world. day and night. In truth, the Holy Ghost is my only covering. I don’t have to worry about regional directors, bishops, or secular bosses and administrators or a husband to stand in my way. Not that I am against marriage. I simply no longer have the commodity of time to learn the ways of yet another man so as to be his helper.
Even though I am transparent, I make it a practice NOT to share the experiences of family, the local sheepfold and other personal associates without their permission. If I share my professional experiences with a client in counseling, the background of the client is camouflaged with no identifying information disclosed. Most important, no human being controls my income or my livelihood. Therefore, I am free to be an open book. It took years to get here and I relished it. As a state government worker, I once had to be closed and cautious but those days are over. The way I determine “what to share” is by the perceived needs of you, the reader. If I believe that exposing myself could possibly help you, then I share. If I don’t, then I keep my sins and my personal business between me and God. Only with Him am I completely transparent. Another reason why no person can pull my strings, is that I have never been “fearful.”
A fighter by nature, the overcoming of hostile emotions is truly a major part of my victory for believe me, I have never been a victim, not even as an African American. In all of my years, no white person has ever called me the “N” word. Of course, racism has been a part of every black person’s life and none of us can say that we have never been exposed to it or affected by it but Jesus Christ healed me long ago of all hatred, vengence and reverse racism. In fact, I do not know people after the flesh but after the spirit. So clearly and in all good conscience, by “putting me out,” no one in the denomination had the power to cause me to feel victimized or even mildly resentful. For 25 years, church leaders were basically pleasant, as they tried to mask their feigned acceptance and politely hidden distaste for me behind hypocritical pleasantries that were not difficult for me to discern.
Because I preached against a tolerance of sin, I certainly did not expect to be “enthusiastically embraced,” for the word of God prepared me to expect persecution for standing for righteousness. Even so, if I did not allow it, no one would have been able to “put me out”of the denomination if I chose to stay,not even the bishop himself. They all knew this about me so everything was implemented under a veil of secrecy through channels of “proper protocol”. Those involved were completely unaware that I too was secretly watching them as I “peaked through their veil of lies and cover-ups.”This is quite an accomplishment for a person like me.
By nature, I am a bold, fearless confronter. In fact, I had a knick name among my secular peers who were all male but one. Spoken with affection and respect, the men I worked with for 17 years referred to me as “the woman with gonads.” Consequently, it is truly not in the nature of my flesh to just sit back and watch weak,tongue in cheek, half steppin so called ministers and church leaders “schemin” behind my back without my own initiation of a vociferous counterattack. In my flesh, I am the kind of person who actually loves a verbal fight and it is built into my personality to confront people face to face. The pride nature of my flesh is relentless upon a perceived enemy. In fact, my father used to say, “Pam, you should have been a lawyer.” I disagree.
Unlike a lawyer, I only contend with what I perceive to be “the truth.” Yet as I quietly observed the mendacity of “church folk” , I learned how to be as wise as a serpent and as harmless as a dove. My ability to trust God literally soared. He opened my spiritual eyes to every scheme that the enemy was planning against me and I simply “stood still”, pretended I was blind, as I quietly watched, waited and prayed. Successful at leaning on Him completely, I learned how to “give up a fight” as well as how to put a battle into His Hands. Over the years, I have observed that the enemy usually defeats me by drawing me into meaningless, unwinnable batles. He will use this tactic with assertive people, so “BEWARE!” His strategy is to pick a fight with the strong, —–a fight that he knows is not worth the victory or for circumstances hidden from you, you have no means of winning. Then when he challenges you, he knows your style.
The usual pattern of the strong is “not to back down.” His tactic is to attack intensely and repeatedly, in order to fool you into thinking, “wow, the devil is fighting me so hard on this matter, this battle must be real important to the Lord, so I won’t let up either.” This is what he wants you to think so that you will hold on to what is actually of no value and waste time and energy that could have been reserved for the real battles. I learned the intricacies of this particular “wile of the devil” because this strategy has been used against me numerous times. In my case, demons bank on the fact that I do not naturally throw in the towel. Well, this time, they out foxed themselves. I didn’t have to throw in the towel because I simply “refused to fight” in the first place. As a result, I was flooded with the peace of God throughout the entire year my website was “secretly under investigation.”
I agree with Paul. When I restrained my own human might, then the Lord stepped in with His. How was I able to restrain myself? Simple. It was the signs THAT I DID NOT SEEK, YET THE LORD SENT THEM. Besides the sign of the “12 mile line,” I had so many signs over the years that as soon as my so-called friend set the plan in motion, I immediately understood that the time had come for me to leave. “I HAD to go.” Actually, a week before these events transpired, I had a dream where I was informed that if I did not come out, the Lord would not be able to use me—I would be like a candlestick hidden under a mattress. This is what I discerned in the spirit— I saw a snuffed out light. The snuffed out light was ME if I put up a fight to stay. I also understood that the Lord did not want me to leave by a personal resignation.
As a fulfillment of prophecy, the Holy Ghost desired that the denomination ” PUT ME OUT.” In the final dream on these matters, I was compared to John the Baptist—shown how Rose had become “a head hunter.” With fifteen years seniority in ministry over Rose, I myself played a significant role in both befriending and supporting Rose in her new and unprecedented appointment to church leadership, never expecting that she would be the person who would eventually be the one who would drive me out of the denomination. As I watched Rose in the spirit, she metaphorically put my ministerial head on the chopping block.
With signs like these, I said to myself, “Pam, you are about to get your head chopped off with “a Judas kiss”. Just sit back and watch what the Lord does.” I didn’t have long to wait. The very next day,I got the phone call. On June 17,2004, the Bishop led the assembled church body of about 150 of my ministerial peers to unanimously vote to remove me from the denomination’s rolls. Surely, I always had a choice. I could have prevented being “put out” by simply showing up to the required meeting. None of them would have had the guts to put me out face to face.
In addition, I could have obeyed them and simply deleted the watchman pages of “TV Trouble” and “Beware Christian” from my website. As much as some people wanted me “gone,” no one could have legally put me out with cause if “I myself didn’t provide the cause.” Actually, I was not removed from the rolls because of the website. I was officially “put out” because I did not send in my annual dues of $660, nor did I attend a required annual meeting. I had spoken to the Bishop and asked to be excused, but when he arrived at the floor of the gathering, he “implied” that “I did not contact him and therefore he had not excused me from the meeting,” when “he did.” Without anything in writing, it was his word against mine.
I could have brought him up on charges as well, but such an action would have hindered the Lord’s plan for my departure. Other than for the website incident, I was not bothered by anyone in the denomination. As such, I was relatively free to function in my ministry with minimal hindrances for several years. Without a doubt, I truly loved the denominational flock and I still do. The problem was that I had received too many signs over two decades of time. It is my heart’s desire to be obedient to God and to man, if and only if man’s way is not in rebellion to God’s will . My decision to allow the denomination to “put me out” was based upon one question that I had to ask myself.”Pam, do you want to be a part of the latter rain or do you want to remain in a dry, barren place?” I chose the rain.