By Pam Sheppard
There is an un-spoken true story to consider—a part of my testimony that I rarely share or reveal–a most astonishing time—-the 4 day period leading up to the most important day of my life. I rarely share my complete testimony publicly because I personally prefer to remain Christ-centered. Yet these are the events in real time that led me to Jesus in the first place. I have reasoned that I leave these matters out for the sake of brevity. Well, after 41 years, its time to reveal the complete circumstances that led to how an atheist psychic medium, became born again on March 29, 1977 at 4pm. It was a Monday.
Back in 1974, I began to practice what the bible refers to as “necromancy” defined as communicating with dead humans through an occult practice called automatic writing, aka “channeling.” This too is another story, written about in the book called “the New Idolatry.” . Since I was an atheist, I was definitely not looking for God as I was adamant in my disbelief. Nevertheless, The day was March 25, 1977.
On this eventful day, I was in a ground floor office of a tall housing project building in Albany NY on Morton Avenue. There has been a renovation since those days and that office was destroyed in the re-modeling. My friend Vivian was a community worker for the public housing projects and we used her private office to communicate with various spirits through automatic writing with pen and paper.
I was used to being flattered and told that they were grooming me to be the best psychic, ever—-better than Edgar Cayce and Jean Dixon. But this particular day, something very strange happened as the essence of the contact was totally “different.” . It was written, “Pam you are a materialistic sinner. Read Romans 3:23”
Well, I was absolutely outraged at those words. I went off in a cussin rage. Picture this in your mind. I angrily waved my hands in the air at spirits I could not see. I believed myself to be a generous giver, in no way materialistic. so upon reading this short message, I got so hostile that the spirits decided to cool me down !
He wrote: Pam, you do not know who you are dealing with. OPEN THAT DOOR AND YOU WILL BE SHOWN.
I opened the door which led to the street on a hill, on Morton Avenue. It was a bright and sunny day. In a split second after I opened the door, the sun was blocked, darkness set in, and a sudden wind blew all the cans, dirt and paper in the streets into a funnel. Then in a split second, the sun was back and the street was normal.
I gently closed the door !!!
I am not one who scares easily. However, before I left Vivian’s office, I shut my cussin mouth and gave up some respect! I did not know who this was but I sure realized that this particular “being” was powerful and should be respected before he zapped me! LOL I rode home and stopped at a bookstore and bought my first bible. I had to check out what Romans 3:23 I mumbled “SEE YA, VIVIAN.I GOTTA GO. so I jumped into my car and I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND BOUGHT A BIBLE, JUST TO READ ROMANS 3;23. To my anger and dismay, I read “ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALLEN SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD.” I yelled out loud “NOT ME!!” I recall that I did not sleep very well that night. I actually had a dream about a being that I believed was as real as Santa Claus: Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
I dreamt I had a baby, left him in a room for three weeks as I reveled and partied. Then it dawned on me that I had not changed the baby’s diaper. It never crossed my mind that since I did not feed the baby in 3 weekw, he would be dead. All I thought of was the soiled diaper. in the 70’s , we used cloth diapers with diaper pins. Pampers had just come out. So I walked in the room, saw the baby laying on his back. I opened his diaper, and he was clean, not soiled.
What I noticed was the wound on his side. I said in the dream, ” the baby’s diaper pin must have opened and stabbed him.” I felt sorrowful that I had been so neglectful.
Then the baby opened his mouth and said “may I have my cross please?”
Now I’m knocked for a loop. I think while I am dreaming, “I don’t believe in Jesus and His cross. The baby must have said “Bring me a pillow.” So I went across the room, picked up a pillow, brought it back to the baby, but the dream ended with the pillow turning into a cross in my hands!!! I woke up, stunned. Then when I went out driving, I saw crosses EVERYWHERE! I was in a state of unrest. What does all of this mean? The entire weekend, as I drove around town, the crosses on the steeples of churches loomed over me, seemed to be 3 times their actual size. If I dropped 2 of anything, they fell on the ground in the shape of a cross. As an atheist, I was spooked about Jesus!
Then there was Friday, March 26, 1977. I had been dating for about a week a tall, dark and handsome Jew. Dave was a married lawyer who worked in the legal department. We had been secretly in a relationship for about a year. Dave was well off but very cheap. He never bought me ANYTHING. Once a week, I fixed costly meals of lobster, steaks and wine in an effort to impress a man who dressed in expensive suits, shoes and drove a BMW, Each week for a year, Dave showed up to my house with nothing in his hand— not even a box of candy. Nuthin!!!! He ate, had sex, never gave me a dime. It did not sit well with me as a black woman. I knew I was being used like I was a gas station to “fill him up” where he lacked.
So that Friday, I was “fed up.” As I sat at my desk fuming, I dialed Dave’s office extension and demanded $300 to buy myself a color TV. I did this in a commanding way while sitting at my desk. I threatened that unless he gave me $300, I was going to reveal our relationship to his wife and all of our white co-workers.
To my surprise, El Cheapo walked down to my desk and wrote me a check for $300. I remember his words. “Pam, you deserve this.” Elated but cautious, I leaped up from my desk and I ran to Montgomery Ward and bought that TV after I got cash for that check. So when I came to work on Monday, March 29th, I was shocked because Dave came to me saying, “Pam , I GAVE YOU THE MONEY. WHY DID YOU TELL EVERYBODY?”
What? I was confused and ashamed at the same time because I had not told anyone. Yet when I heard this, all I could remember was the words of that invisible entity who wrote “Pam, YOU ARE A MATERIALISTIC SINNER. I COULD NOT ESCAPE THE FACT THAT MY ACTIONS PROVED THAT I WAS A SINNER, as stated in Romans 3:23.
Disturbed beyond anything I had ever experienced in my life thus far, I could not complete the work day because I could not stop crying. I had no idea how news of our affair was exposed. I found out later that my boss heard me making the threat on my desk phone and that he saw Dave hand me the check and say to me “Pam, you deserve this.” A black man, my supervisor Jim was mighty proud of how I handled this prosperous Jewish Caucasian, proceeding to he brag to other black co-workers who already knew about my affair with Dave. A white man close to the blacks overheard and he informed Dave.
The sorrow began immediately and went on from about 10:am to almost 4 pm. Dave discovered at work that I did not tell anyone, so on his lunch break, he came over to my house at about 1 or 2pm to comfort and assure me that our relationship was still in tact. I offered him the money, half now and half later. He took a check for $150. I still have that cashed check!
SINCE I WAS NOT ONE TO DO A LOT OF CRYING. I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I KEPT CRYING AFTER DAVE LEFT MY APARTMENT.
So I got on the phone with Vivian, my psychic partner. I said Vivian, this is not like me. I cant understand why I cant stop crying. She said “You know.” I said “no I don’t.” She repeated it a few more times, YOU KNOW.
In a split second, I threw my head back and shouted OUT OF WHAT SEEMED LIKE NO WHERE ” I AM CRYING FOR WHAT THEY DID TO JESUS.” Even though I shocked myself with that outburst, there was no time for me to even ponder, “where did that come from? I don’t believe in Him.” No. It seemed as if time stood still while simultaneously moved forward at a rapid speed.
Actually, my REBIRTH seemed that it TOOK MERE SECONDS. IT HAPPENED AS SOON AS A THOUGHT about the resurrection TOOK OVER MY MIND—a thought that stuck and stood still in my mind.— Everything you have heard about Jesus is true. He died for your sins and HE IS RAISED FROM THE DEAD. A DEAD MAN LIVES!!!!
I SUSPECT MY MOUTH WAS WIDE OPEN when TRAVAIL BEGAN, BIRTH CAME, AND I WAS FILLED WITH JOY, laughing, crying and dancing at the same time!!!! First I found myself laying on my back on the couch, my legs wide open in a birthing position like when I gave birth to my daughter 8 years prior. Yet, the contractions or birthing took place in my chest area, where my spirit resides. I perceived in the spirit the hand of God go into me, touch my spirit, and then viola, darkness turned into light. Tears turned into joy and laughter! I felt like I had just been born and that I had no 33 years of history of sin in my DNA on earth. I was completely clean, no longer a sinner!!!!
All in a matter of seconds!
I reached for the new bible I had purchased 4 days ago. It opened to John 3, you must be born again. This was only the second scripture I had seen in the bible–ever!!!. Yet I understood what the scholar Nicodemus could not understand. I picked up the phone which had dropped from my hand. Still there, Vivian gave me some specific instructions, “you have just given birth to your new spirit in Christ Jesus. Go run a tub of water, and baptize yourself in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”
I did so.
Then my 8 year old daughter got off the bus from school and ran into the house, with a group of little white boys chasing her, calling her “nigger.” This had been an everyday experience for Zee and the former me was often at the bus stop waiting to jack up one of those kids. Yet, this “new creature” scooped them up with a big hug and gave them cookies. The love I felt for those little boys was incredible. They looked at me as if they were saying, ‘this woman has lost all her marbles!”
A month later, Vivian did not remember any of this!!!! Our long standing friendship ended. To this day, I have forgotten how that happened cause we were pretty tight!
In conclusion, this is a small but significant part of the day I got born again that I have shared sparingly over the last 4 decades. The significance of my spiritual memoirs is that a being from God came into my occult world and literally snatched me from the evil spirits I had been communicating with. I suspect it was a high ranking angel who has the power to affect the weather on God’s behalf.
My spirit friends were gone for good. They have never tried to speak to me in 40 years, even when as a babe in Christ, I sought them. No, I have never been able to perform automatic writing again. The so called “psychic powers” I was being trained to perform literally disappeared.
By 1979, I had 3 dreams that sent me to find “Rev. Lester.” I joined his church, only to discover tht he was a down-low homosexual as well as a Jamaican warlock who practiced witchcraft. Come Out of Her God’s People is the book to read as it contains my memories of 25 years in the institutional church and how the Lord called me out to serve Him online. From my humble abode, I minister counseling, coaching, I author books, articles, produce videos, conduct workshops and cast out devils over the phone. So most of the 24 hours of each day, even while I sleep, I am serving the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth until He returns and on into eternity.