I am meditating today on the words of the Apostle Paul about forgetting what is behind and pressing forward to the mark or one’s ministerial target.
Next month, I will celebrate 33 years in ministry. Actually, after 25 years, The Lord revealed to me that I needed to put the entire thing on the dung heap.—-healing, deliverance, pulpit preaching, pastoring, prison ministry, charismatic teachings which I had ingested into my spirit for decades —all were put in my personal garbage truck and taken to my spiritual dumping ground.
Now if I was a person prone to the bondage of public opinion, this drastic change would have been quite a difficult task. For me, it was easy primarily because I believe that I heard from God Himself. My thoughts at the time? Well, it’s YOUR house Lord so YOU build it. I found out the truth of The Lord’s words, for truly, His yoke is easy.
I think not feeling like I am important is helpful. Take the lawyer who got OJAY free. Right now, I can’t even remember his name. I remember, “if the glove don’t fit, then acquit!” The man was popular, now dead and gone and I can’t remember his name. Oh yes. His name comes to me now. Johnny Cochran.
So not being famous like Johnny, I like to think of myself as a nobody. I accept the fact that people are not watching me because they really don’t care if I live or die much less what I believe. So negative comments on my blog or on social networks no longer phase me. I do not expect everyone to either understand me or embrace what I believe. If I have time, I skim through them and delete or trash as I move forward.
This morning, the enemy gave me a dream that featured an array of people attacking me because I posted something they did not like. Mixed into that dream were people from my former church, my last job, and I was being personally attacked because of my posts. In retaliation, something negative about me was posted behind a glass bulletin board. So I would have had to either post my comment outside of the glass, where anyone could have come and taken it down or simply smashed the glass. As I awoke, I was considering “how to get behind the glass” to post my rebuttal.
Well, the truth of the matter is that I am no longer under the authority of the denomination or my former employer. I can POST what I want. And I don’t need to post any rebuttals. I am not interested in what my adversary’s agents think about me. On that score, I have an “oh well” attitude.
What I have learned to do with people, places and things is “pivot.” To pivot is to make a quick, balanced turn because of the steadiness of my feet. Therefore, It was easy for me to “pivot” out of the institutional church as a former pastor there because I was never blinded by their rose colored glasses. My feet were never really cemented into church ground, even though I was among them for 25 years.
I thought to myself “Well Pam. if it ain’t workin, let it go and start over.” Simple.
Yet another simple revelation I have ingested that keeps me from being concerned not only about what people THINK of me but also what people WRITE or SAY about me is this:
I am searching for compatible souls. my search for them is really a needle in the haystack kind of experience. I am going to run into MORE people who are NOT my targets than I will people who are. So to reach a few people, I have to shove through the dung heap, the garbage dump of religiosity and sin where loads of folk reside. So I ignore the shit of others to reach my “compatible souls.”
When I find the “compatible souls,” I realize that some will be covered in filth. My job is to help them clean themselves off, while keeping myself free from whatever personal crap they try to dump on me.
If it turns out that I have been working with the wrong folk, people who refuse my help either passively or aggressively, I let them go without a struggle as I continue to walk through unclean places, looking for the rest of the “compatible souls.”
My goal once I find a compatible soul is to get to know that person and to prepare him or her for deliverance completely online. I have grown to like online better than face to face for a lot of reasons, the subject of yet another post. But here is the deal with online work. if that person cannot comment in my personal and private blog called RESCUE, or he or she does not let me get to know them through emails or at least once a week telephone counseling, then I let that person go without a lot of debate.
I don’t have either the time or the energy to debate in an effort to try to hold on to anyone who demonstrates in their behavior and attitude that I am not the one for them to connect with.
I shake the dust from my feet and keep moving forward in my search for yet another compatible soul.
It’s like business, cause it ain’t personal. I hold no grudges.