While an active member of a charismatic, non denominational church for several years, I was so in love with the worship of the church that I never thought in a million years that what I was doing was leading me further and further into the deception of the fake jesus and his dominion of demons. I would go early on Sunday. As soon as I hit the parking lot, my body was like a tuning fork. I was, ‘in the spirit” or what I thought was the Holy Spirit at the time. What I came to find out was, it wasn’t the Holy Spirit but the latent power that had been within me being woken up by the very demons that sought to destroy me. These were the same demons that held me hostage to my depression and lust.
I would get these certain emotionally charged feeling. As described in a passage of The New Idolatry” by Pam Sheppard mystics want to know God intimately through their physicality. In other words they want to touch, see and feel God NOW. Why can’t we feel God? See Him? Go deeper and deeper with Him into intimacy?” “What I didn’t perceive is that we need to know Him by faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God.”
You see, I loved to dance and this was something that I would do in the aisle of the church every week. Arms flailing and in “my element” or so I thought, I was encouraged by the same people who were sure that I was so spiritual! It was at this time, I was in the pinnacle of my addictions, lusts and depression. I was still having issues on and off with bulimia, and I had just left one of my adulterous affairs which took place with an elder of the church. I knew deep down we would not be together even though at the time it was what I wanted more than anything. It was at this point I was suffering from lustful thoughts. I wanted to be immoral and felt driven to do so. It would take years to get over what the devil had drawn me into with the surrender of my will.
How do I know that it was not a Godly relationship? Because we had been immoral. How do I know it was witchcraft now? All that he had to say were 2 words to me, and I went from not caring to not being able to live without him. It’s purpose was to destroy me….but God…..I had come to hide things so well and the mask was fairly secured on my face and would stay there for many years to come. I believed, I was “suffering for Christ.” It was going to change and God was going to use me mightily someday, wasn’t He? The fact was…no, not the way I ever thought He would. It was never Gods plan for me but He couldn’t get me to see that until after He was able to start the process of un-deceiving me. Once completely out of the four walls of religion, the truth came in like the dawn. God brings people in your life to bring truth and this is how God is using me . This is what’s real, what won’t burn up when the Lord comes back.
If you are suffering, you don’t have to, through the articles in pamsheppardpublishing.com, God is telling you, there is hope for you.
I am one of the ministers that Pam Sheppard has trained. You can be trained to be a deliverance mentor also. Pam will work with your particular schedule and availability. Since I own a Beauty Shop and am also in college, Pam has trained me by telephone, an hour a week for two years. If you would like either myself or another trained minister to serve you in deliverance mentoring, then call the office at 518-477-5759.