For the last three months, I have been suffering with excruciating pain in my right thigh. At one point, I could not walk without the assistance of a hand-held walker. After 3 days of physical therapy, I was able to walk but it seems the thigh pain grew worst. Imagine 5 Charley horses, rolling up and down the thigh for several minutes, especially upon getting up from a chair. A chair became my worst enemy. With pain such as I experienced, you begin to consider whether or not you want to continue living. I sought God on this. I prayed: “I know there is much work that I have left to do in this earth, and after 30 years in ministry, I am JUST getting started to really do the work. I realize that as long as my mind is clear, I can work, even if I have to do it lying on my back. I can write and speak from my bed, as I continue to do. All I am going to say Lord is that I trust you and I know that you have my back. So let YOUR will be done.”
Shortly after that prayer, perhaps a few days, I was given a dream. I was in the waiting room of a hospital, where people were having surgery for my condition— central stenosis of the back with a herniated disc. Everyone of them had surgery and walked out the door right after it, without even an overnight stay in the hospital. I was so puzzled in the dream , so I went to the head nurse and inquired. I asked “who is the surgeon on this? She gave me a name that I forgot when I woke. I said “Is he the hospital’s best surgeon? ” She replied, “No.”sSuggesting he was merely an intern.” When I woke, I understood completely. I was being shown that in spite of all the pain I was going through, my actual physical condition was not really very serious. I thought to myself, “this could be the enemy trying to give me false hope or setting me up to have an operation that could cripple me.” Yet, I felt good. I thought to myself “Somebody is watching, you Pam. Somebody knows what you are going through and has come to give you a word of peace and comfort.”
I felt it was God yet I remained “neutral.” I said. “if this is the devil, God has a plan. I won’t worry about this.” I had already heard a few horror stories about spinal surgery.
Once I saw the surgeon, it became clear WHO sent the message. It was God. The surgeon took me to the x-ray of my spine. He explained in layman’s terms: “you see this puffiness here on your right disc? It is touching on a nerve that is causing you the pain. I am a surgeon, and surgeon’s operate. However, I only do so when I have to. In 95% of cases of this kind , the swelling goes down and an operation is not necessary. However, if yours does not go down, if I operate on this, it will be done at the hospital BUT YOU WILL WALK OUT THAT VERY DAY. IT IS THAT SIMPLE A PROCEDURE!
Wow! I actually considered dying because of this pain.
As I reflect on the fruit of the pain, I see that I have gained much from the pain these last 3 months.
First of all, I have been able to see my own faith as a substance. The evidence of my faith is simply that “I trust God.”
I am 68 years old.—a very healthy woman who has rarely ever been sick or “out of commission.” When one who is un-familiar with sickness faces a challenge of physical breakdown, he or she begins to appreciate the small things–like standing at the sink to do dishes, cook a meal, walk to the store, stand for 15 minutes without pain, sit in a chair. The main thing that I perceive is that the gain of my pain is faith and trust in God. For I have come to know that my affliction is working in me and for me to produce a far more exceeding weight of glory. I also realize that I have been tested to purify me. Not once did I complain or murmur against God. I have also learned compassion for those who are permanently infirmed as well as to appreciate the value of having at least one human being who loves you and who will do anything for you. Besides Jesus, my daughter is my rock and I had no problem leaning on her. Last but not least, I have learned to value the few things.
In looking back over these last 3 months, not one time did the enemy accuse or confront me with “you have pain because you are out of the will of God, or one of your enemy’s has put a spell on you, or God has forsaken you. Not one accusation. Not a word of condemnation. A few known enemies were even at peace with me. No weapon formed against me prospered while I was so weak from pain, that I could not stand on my feet for longer than 10 minutes.
Many times the Lord will allow a painful situation, be it physical or emotional. In times like these, we need to search for the fruit by asking “Is the enemy trying to destroy me or is this God seeking to purify me?” We may not get the answer immediately. When pain comes, we assume it is the devil attacking us. Well, in this case, the devil had nothing to do with any of it. Nor did God cause this pain. Simply put, a little piece of “puff” less than the size of the tip of a baby’s finger, touched a nerve. The touched nerve causes the pain. It will either shrink or a skilled surgeon will cut it out. The pain caused by “a little thing” has borne the fruit of patience, faith and trust in the Almighty God! I learned that when I am weak, go forth as if I am strong, and no one will be the wiser!
- the pain and the promise (murmursofmyheart.wordpress.com)
- Learning through Rewards vs. Learning through Pain (celiaelaine.wordpress.com)
- Use your pain to create art and your courage to share it. – Melvin Davis (mdavis11.wordpress.com)
- Therefore I remember (charispsallo.wordpress.com)
- Never ever give up (cloakeynotes.wordpress.com)
- The pain of the cross (e-domain.me)